captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
