Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
My pussy is not your playground.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
