if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
