We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
