I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
