He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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