I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize