the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
