I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
organizing the empties. That sober.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
