I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
