what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
