areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
