Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
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It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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