he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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