also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
