Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
