morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
