i used baking grease as lip gloss
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
