TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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