I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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