It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
