Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
