Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He passed out mid-signature
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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