More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
third nipple confirmed
my liver is dry heaving
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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