Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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