i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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