i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
