Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
