It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
