glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Jerry, you need to find god
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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