So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
did you just send me my own nude
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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