I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
