I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Ketchup is God's man juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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