it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
