If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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