woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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