well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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