Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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