i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
