weddingsv make me drug and hornr
and you said cock pushups were impossible
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed