so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
would you consider him our boss?
then technically i slept with our boss
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys