I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Is Oprah even human