I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.