He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
