I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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