I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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