I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
