I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
