toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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