better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
