you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
