who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
