I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
