now i know why i became what i already was.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
