the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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