She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
