I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
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I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
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In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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