Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
