i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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