Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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