But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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