Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
