She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
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My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
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I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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