i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
