would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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