Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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