i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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