i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
