the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
