The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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