sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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