..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
