I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
You are a genius and a whore.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
