I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
