yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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